Valentines
by TheRangress
Summary: It's Valentine's Day at Torchwood, and the course of true love never did run smooth... Roses from Gwen, Valentines from who?


Gwen twirled into the Torchwood Hub, a box of chocolates and bouquet of roses under her arm.

"Sorry I'm late, had to pick these up on the way," she explained, putting them both down on the table.

"Chocolate and roses? Really?" Owen tossed another paper airplane towards Ianto's head.

"And valentines." Gwen promptly held up four red hearts. "Some of us have feelings, Owen. Anyone for a rose?"

A couple minutes later, both Gwen and Tosh had roses tucked behind their ears and Owen was turning his valentine into a paper airplane.

"Ianto, chocolate?" Gwen offered.

"Pterodactyl chow," he said, taking it, "How thoughtful."

Gwen giggled as Owen's valentine airplane smacked Ianto in the back of the head. Ianto turned, glared, and then ate his chocolate pointedly.

"I'll go give Jack his valentine," Gwen said, picking up a rose and chocolate to deliver with it. She hummed her way into the office, doing her best not to crumple the valentine or drop the chocolate.

"Gwen, what are you doing?" Jack raised his eyebrows and wrote something down.

"Happy Valentine's Day!" she announced, putting her gifts for him down on the table.

"Construction-paper hearts?" Jack smirked, picking his up. "'For the dashing captain'."

"Just don't turn it into a paper airplane." Gwen leaned against the wall. "So, you give Ianto a valentine yet?"

"Why would I?" Jack asked, mouth full of chocolate.

"Well, it's a traditional part of relationships."

"We don't have a relationship."

"Oh, yes you do." Gwen had an irrepressible grin. "No rose for his buttonhole? No _romantic _dinners?"

"No," Jack said firmly.

"Oh, come on, you know you want to..."

"No, I don't. Thank you for the chocolate, Gwen."

Later, Gwen cornered Ianto while he was making a shopping list.

"You spending Valentine's Day with Jack then, are you?"

"What? Why would I?" He did a very bad job of acting casual.

"Well, because I'm spending it with Rhys and all..."

"Yes, but you're _married_."

"And he's your boyfriend!" "He— he is not— " Ianto slammed his pen down, tearing the paper.

"Oh, come on, Ianto. I've _seen _you..." Gwen put her chin in her hand, resting her elbow on Ianto's desk. "Come on, it's Valentine's Day!"

"Look, Gwen, we can't all be fluffy and domestic like you and Rhys!" Ianto took a deep breath and returned to his shopping list. "It's not a Valentine's-y sort of thing," he said slowly and deliberately.

"Do you want it to be?"

"I want to get my work done, Gwen..."

Very soon afterwards, Ianto found a notebook-paper heart with his name on it. Opening it, he found quite possibly the most explicit poem he'd ever read, signed 'Jack'.

Jack.

No. No, it couldn't possibly...

Ianto turned to see Jack staring at him in concern, a matching paper heart in hand. Ianto silently held up his own heart and shook his head. Jack gestured for Ianto to join him in his office, and he did so.

"Owen," Ianto said, once the door was closed.

"Owen," Jack agreed. "What did he give you?"

Ianto silently handed Jack the valentine, receiving its mate in return.

"A sonnet," Jack commented, raising an eyebrow, "about your ass."

"I'm going to _vomit_," Ianto said, tearing up the hopelessly sappy love confession Owen had signed his name to.

"I know." Jack tossed the poem into the garbage.

"We should give him a taste of his own medicine." Ianto nodded and picked a pen up. "I think I've got a poem of my own to write..."

"You're going to write a poem about Owen's ass?"

"No, Jack." Ianto scribbled down a short poem and showed it to Jack. "Start cutting hearts, would you?"

* * *

Tosh picked up the valentine on her desk.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I am dead, but I love you..." she read. She turned to Owen, who threw his hands up.

"I did _not _write that," he said, backing away.

While Gwen and Tosh teased Owen mercilessly, Jack and Ianto watched from the sidelines.

Suddenly, Jack took the rose Gwen had given him and tucked it into Ianto's buttonhole.

"She was right. It does look good on you."

"Just as long as you aren't planning any romantic dinners." Ianto idly reached for Jack's hand as he watched Owen get chased around the Hub.

Jack, of course, didn't leave it at that and swept Ianto into his arms dramatically.

"O Captain, my captain." Ianto quoted the valentine flatly, raising his wrist to his forehead.

"Want me to quote that poem?" Jack grinned and took the hint.

"No thank you. I'm scarred enough as it is." Ianto sighed and watched Tosh slap Owen with the valentine. "Just to be clear, it's the 'romantic' part I object to, not the dinner."

"Dinner, then?"

They smiled at each other.

Unfortunately, that was when Owen charged up the stairs, roaring about how he was going to kill them.

"Save me, my brave and handsome hero." Ianto clung to Jack's arm with exaggerated puppy eyes.

"I'll kick his ass. It isn't nearly as lovely as yours." Jack grinned at Owen.

"I hate you."


End file.
